Endurance or Entrapment? The Psychology of Domestic Violence in Kashmiri Women

750 550 Fiza Farooq

Domestic violence is a global issue, but its manifestations and societal responses vary across cultures and regions. In Kashmir, the problem takes on a unique, multilayered complexity due to the region’s socio-political instability, deeply entrenched patriarchal norms, and economic challenges. Despite being a sensitive topic, the normalization of domestic violence against women in Kashmir remains underreported and under-addressed. This paper examines the psychology of women in Kashmir regarding domestic violence, the socio-cultural roots of this normalization, the grim statistics of abuse, and the critical role financial independence plays in combating this silent epidemic.

The Psychology of Normalization

In Kashmir, domestic abuse has become a normalized aspect of many women’s lives, deeply entrenched in cultural, social, and economic structures. For generations, patriarchal norms have dictated women’s roles as subservient and compliant, fostering an environment where violence is often perceived as a “disciplinary” measure or an unfortunate but acceptable part of marriage. Women internalize these beliefs early on, often through familial and societal reinforcement. They are taught that preserving familial honour is paramount, even at the cost of their physical and emotional well-being. As a result, many women rationalize their suffering as a necessary sacrifice to maintain social cohesion and protect their children’s future.

Moreover, the stigma surrounding divorce or separation adds to their reluctance to report abuse or leave abusive relationships. This stigma is exacerbated by the lack of institutional support, such as the dissolution of the State Women’s Commission, leaving women with few viable options to seek justice or protection. The prolonged conflict in Kashmir has further complicated the issue. The environment of uncertainty and the trauma of war have heightened domestic tensions, with men channelling their frustrations and insecurities into abusive behaviour at home. Economic instability, job losses, and mental health issues stemming from the conflict exacerbate domestic violence, creating a vicious cycle of abuse. In this context, many women see their suffering as inevitable or insignificant compared to the broader societal struggles. Over time, this resignation to abuse has been reinforced by religious and cultural interpretations that stress women’s roles in upholding family unity, often at the cost of their rights and agency.

However, there has been a gradual, albeit slow, shift in women’s thought processes over the past few decades. Increased access to education and exposure to media has allowed many women to question traditional norms and recognize abuse for what it is—an infringement on their dignity and rights. Organizations like the Jammu and Kashmir Rural Livelihoods Mission (JKRLM) and NGOs like Ehsaas have played pivotal roles in this transformation, creating safe spaces for women to share their experiences and empowering them through financial independence and vocational training. Despite this progress, the normalization of abuse persists for many women, particularly in rural and economically marginalized communities where traditional gender roles are deeply entrenched.

The evolving mindset reflects a dual reality: while more women are beginning to assert their rights and demand change, a significant portion still internalizes violence as an inescapable aspect of life. This normalization is not a conscious acceptance but a survival mechanism in a society that offers limited alternatives. The path forward lies in addressing the structural factors that perpetuate abuse—patriarchy, economic dependency, and societal stigma—while fostering an environment where women are empowered to challenge norms, report violence, and envision a future free of fear and oppression

The Role of Men: Gatekeepers of Patriarchy

In Kashmir, domestic violence has been deeply normalized by entrenched patriarchal structures and societal conditioning that valorise male dominance while relegating women to subservient roles. Many Kashmiri men grow up in environments where violence, whether verbal, emotional, or physical, is not only overlooked but often framed as a legitimate means of maintaining control within the household. This normalization stems from the generational transmission of patriarchal values, where the ideal man is portrayed as a figure of authority and the ideal woman as obedient and docile. Within this framework, domestic violence becomes an extension of a man’s perceived “right” to assert control over his wife, daughters, or sisters, ensuring that traditional family hierarchies remain intact. Male entitlement, compounded by societal validation of this entitlement, reinforces the belief that women are inherently inferior and must be controlled for familial and societal stability. Cultural, religious, and socio-political influences shape the thought process underpinning this normalization. While Islam, the predominant religion in Kashmir, advocates for equality and condemns abuse, cultural misinterpretations often skew these teachings, justifying male dominance under the guise of religious responsibility. Additionally, the protracted conflict in Kashmir has exacerbated these dynamics, with socio-economic instability fostering frustration, aggression, and stress among men. These conditions often manifest in increased domestic violence, as women become convenient targets for displaced male aggression. The lack of accountability and a weak judicial system further emboldened abusers, as most cases of domestic violence go unreported or are dismissed as private family matters.

Kashmiri men also act as gatekeepers of patriarchy by perpetuating societal norms that suppress women’s autonomy. This suppression is rooted in a fear of losing control, particularly in a society where women’s empowerment—through education, financial independence, or social mobility—poses a direct challenge to male authority. Men often resist change, fearing that empowered women will disrupt traditional gender roles and family structures. This fear manifests in tactics like economic abuse, where women are denied access to their earnings, or through moral policing, where their behaviour is scrutinized and restricted. By enforcing these norms, men maintain their dominance while reinforcing the idea that women’s value lies in their ability to serve and submit.

Despite these deep-seated issues, change is gradually taking root in Kashmir. Increasing awareness about women’s rights, access to education, and the emergence of women’s collectives are challenging traditional norms. Younger generations, exposed to broader perspectives through technology and social media, are beginning to question the patriarchal status quo. Legal reforms and grassroots activism, though limited in reach, have also begun to create spaces for women to voice their grievances. However, the pace of change is slow, and significant resistance from men, fueled by deeply ingrained cultural beliefs and systemic barriers, continues to hinder progress. Breaking these cycles of abuse and suppression requires not just individual change but a collective societal shift, one that holds men accountable and redefines masculinity in terms of respect, equality, and shared power.

The Role of Women: Glorifying Suffering

In Kashmir, women often find themselves glorifying their suffering in domestic abuse due to deep-seated cultural and societal conditioning that values sacrifice and endurance as markers of a “good woman.” This thought process is a product of generational narratives that idealize women who endure hardship for the sake of preserving family honour and unity. Many Kashmiri women grow up hearing stories of mothers, grandmothers, and other relatives who silently bore the weight of violence and injustice, often portrayed as symbols of resilience and virtue. As a result, they internalize the belief that suffering is not just inevitable but also noble, equating it with their role as caregivers and protectors of family integrity. This mindset is further reinforced by religious and cultural misinterpretations that emphasize patience and submission, especially within the marital context, discouraging women from speaking out against abuse.

This normalization of suffering is compounded by societal structures that stigmatize divorce and blame women for the breakdown of marriages. Women are often pressured to remain in abusive relationships to avoid being labelled as failures or bringing dishonour to their families. Such societal expectations create an environment where silence and endurance are glorified, and seeking justice or separation is viewed as selfish or shameful. Additionally, lack of education, financial dependence, and limited access to legal or social support further entrench this mindset, as many women feel they have no viable alternatives to their current circumstances. The absence of a robust support system leaves women isolated and more likely to accept their suffering as a norm rather than a problem to be addressed.

Compounding this issue is the lack of solidarity among women in Kashmir, where internalized patriarchy leads many women to degrade or judge others instead of offering support. Mothers-in-law, for instance, often perpetuate cycles of abuse against daughters-in-law, having themselves experienced similar treatment in the past. This phenomenon stems from a survivalist mentality, where women, having normalized their suffering, enforce the same standards on others as a way to assert control or align with patriarchal norms. Instead of challenging the oppressive system, some women become its enforcers, criticizing victims for not enduring enough or accusing them of overstepping cultural boundaries. This lack of solidarity creates a fractured front, making it even harder for victims to find allies within their gender.

The persistence of these dynamics is rooted in a lack of transformative change in societal attitudes and structural support. While education and awareness campaigns have made some headway, they remain insufficient in dismantling deeply ingrained beliefs that prioritize family honor over individual well-being. Moreover, the conflict-ridden context of Kashmir exacerbates these challenges, as issues like domestic violence are often overshadowed by larger socio-political crises, leaving little room for sustained advocacy or reform. Until there is a collective effort to shift narratives around gender roles, honour, and solidarity, the glorification of suffering among women in Kashmir will continue to perpetuate cycles of abuse and silence.

Statistics of Death, Injuries, and Reports

Accurate data on domestic violence in Kashmir is hard to come by, as many cases go unreported due to stigma and fear of reprisal. However, available statistics paint a grim picture:

  1. Incidence of Abuse: A 2021 report by the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) revealed that Jammu and Kashmir recorded over 3,000 cases of domestic violence annually, but experts believe the actual numbers are much higher due to underreporting.
  2. Deaths and Injuries: A survey conducted by a local NGO found that nearly 20% of reported cases involved severe physical injuries, and a significant number of women faced life-threatening violence. Suicides and accidental deaths linked to domestic violence are also alarmingly common, though these are often misclassified in official records.
  3. Mental Health Impact: The psychological toll of domestic violence is staggering. Depression, anxiety, and PTSD are rampant among victims, compounded by the lack of mental health services in the region. A 2019 study by Doctors Without Borders (Médecins Sans Frontières, MSF) revealed alarming rates of mental health disorders among women in Kashmir. Domestic violence is one of the major contributors to these disorders. Around 60% of women in certain areas have reported experiencing domestic abuse during their lifetimes.
  4. Reporting Challenges: Cultural and systemic barriers prevent women from seeking help. Police often dismiss domestic violence as a “family matter,” and legal proceedings are slow and intimidating, deterring many from pursuing justice.
Financial Independence: A Critical Factor

Financial dependency has been a significant factor perpetuating domestic abuse in Kashmir, where traditional gender roles and patriarchal values dominate societal structures. In many households, men act as sole breadwinners, using their economic control to exert power over women. This dependency often traps women in abusive relationships, as they lack the financial means to leave their homes, support their children, or even access legal or medical assistance. Women dependent on their husbands are frequently forced to endure physical and emotional abuse because societal norms discourage separation or divorce, particularly when women cannot provide for themselves independently. This control extends beyond the physical—many women face economic abuse, such as having their earnings taken away or being denied access to household finances, further entrenching their vulnerability and ensuring they remain submissive. The broader cultural environment in Kashmir compounds this issue, where speaking out about domestic violence is stigmatized, leaving financially dependent women with little recourse.

Financial independence can transform this scenario by challenging the core dynamics of power and control that underpin domestic abuse. When women earn their income, they gain the means to break free from abusive relationships, access support systems, and provide for themselves and their children. Economic self-sufficiency empowers women to resist societal pressures to “endure” for the sake of family honour, fostering greater agency and confidence in asserting their rights. It also changes household power dynamics, making relationships more equitable and reducing the likelihood of abuse. Women’s participation in the workforce not only elevates their status within their families but also challenges the community’s perception of traditional gender roles. Over time, this shift can undermine the patriarchal framework that normalizes and sustains domestic abuse. Programs like the Jammu and Kashmir Rural Livelihood Mission, which provide skill development and microfinance opportunities, have shown promise in this regard, enabling women to build sustainable livelihoods. However, financial independence alone is not a panacea—it must be accompanied by broader social and legal reforms to dismantle the stigma around abuse and ensure institutional support for survivors. By addressing the economic roots of dependency and empowering women, financial independence has the potential to disrupt cycles of domestic violence and pave the way for a more equitable society in Kashmir.

Lack of Institutional Support

One of the most glaring issues in tackling domestic violence in Kashmir is the absence of robust institutional support:

  1. Legal Framework: While laws like the Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005 exist, their implementation is weak. Victims often face delays, bias, and harassment in their quest for justice.
  2. Support Services: Shelters, counselling centres, and crisis helplines are either nonexistent or poorly equipped to handle the volume and complexity of cases.
  3. Police Apathy: Law enforcement agencies often dismiss domestic violence complaints as trivial, discouraging women from seeking help.
  4. Community Silence: The community, including religious leaders, often prioritizes preserving the family reputation over protecting victims.
Breaking the Cycle: The Way Forward

Addressing domestic violence in Kashmir requires a multifaceted approach that involves legal reforms, cultural shifts, and economic empowerment:

  1. Awareness Campaigns: Educating both men and women about gender equality and the unacceptability of violence is crucial.
  2. Strengthening Laws: Legal mechanisms must be made more accessible, with fast-tracked cases and harsher penalties for offenders.
  3. Economic Empowerment: Providing women with vocational training, microfinance opportunities, and safe workplaces can significantly reduce their dependence on abusive partners.
  4. Mental Health Support: Establishing counselling centres and mental health services can help victims recover and rebuild their lives.Community Involvement: Religious and community leaders must play an active role in condemning violence and supporting victims.
Conclusion

The normalization of domestic violence in Kashmir is a deeply rooted issue that reflects broader societal challenges. For change to occur, both men and women must confront the cultural and systemic barriers that perpetuate abuse. Financial independence emerges as a critical tool in this struggle, offering women a pathway to autonomy and dignity. However, without collective action from individuals, communities, and institutions, the cycle of violence will continue to claim countless lives and futures. The time to act is now, for the silent suffering of Kashmiri women can no longer be ignored.

References:
Fiza Farooq

Fiza Farooq is an enthusiastic and socially conscious graduate with a Bachelor’s degree in Arts and is currently pursuing a Master’s degree in Political Science. Passionate about social change, she brings a deep understanding of the intersection between art, culture, and politics. Her goal is to contribute meaningfully to initiatives that promote equality, human rights, and sustainable development. Fiza is eager to apply academic knowledge and creative problem-solving skills to real-world challenges, collaborating with organizations that drive positive societal impact."

Author

Fiza Farooq

Fiza Farooq is an enthusiastic and socially conscious graduate with a Bachelor’s degree in Arts and is currently pursuing a Master’s degree in Political Science. Passionate about social change, she brings a deep understanding of the intersection between art, culture, and politics. Her goal is to contribute meaningfully to initiatives that promote equality, human rights, and sustainable development. Fiza is eager to apply academic knowledge and creative problem-solving skills to real-world challenges, collaborating with organizations that drive positive societal impact."

More work by: Fiza Farooq

Leave a Reply